Thursday 5 August 2010

Pina Bausch 1940-2009: an appreciation

Tanztheater Wuppertal: Café Muller/The Rite of Spring

Sadler’s Wells 16/02/08


In Café Muller, two women enter, blind, offering their arms, palms turned upwards, defenceless, stumbling around. A man in a suit clears tables and chairs from their path, attending to, without containing their traumatic spasms of feeling. A man enters, also blind and barefoot, eventually found by one of the women, who embraces him with unguarded commitment and honesty. They stand; desperate, together, consoling, entwined, Adam and Eve. Another man in a suit, seeks to rearrange their Antediluvian innocence, first encouraging, then compelling the man to wrest himself from the embrace and to carry the women’s limp body, as if rescued from some catastrophe. The man can’t bear her weight for long, and she falls to the ground. Again, the suited contriver compels; again, the man drops his burden. Again and again, until the contriver disappears, leaving the woman to offer herself as a sacrifice, so habituated has she become to her manipulation.


The couple battle for the exit, throwing each other back against the wall, rather than permit each other to withdraw. The man is helpless, lost, angry, craving guidance from the dispassionate Graces who attend on him, clearing a path as he palpitates and thrashes on the ground.


Beyond them, and before them, an older Sylph (originally danced by Bausch herself), struggles alone along her own path, as one who has gone before, as one who has put down the desperate dance of relationship and is out ahead on her own journey of yearning and disappointment. She turns to the wall, in dejection, moves into the room and a mournful, graceful solo, a statement simply that she is here, she has been here; remember her.


Strutting and fretting around this valse triste, a ginger-wigged floozy on pink heels careers hither and yon, the monkey mind of self-consciousness; always busy, always noisy, rarely useful. Initially ineffectual, her attention slowly focusses and she sheds her pretty, childish shoes and dances alone, striking a new, audacious attitude. Her efforts are rewarded by the attention of a mirroring male, all slicked hair and geeky glasses, another avatar of the self-regarding ego, lurking in the doorway, uncommitted, quick to flee.


The women freeze, legs apart and rigid, in shock at the immensity of their solitude, exhausted by the failure of their pleading for recognition. They are carried when they fall, only to fall again, and again.


Leaving Pina, still dancing alone, reaching upwards towards some silent space above.


The Rite of Spring is fire to Café Muller’s ice; a pagan, quivering, carnal ritual in which quarry is selected, tracked and brought down; in which the cardiac throb of Stravinsky’s music is reflected in the sympathetic, ventrical breathing of the sweating dancers.


Pina Bausch articulates the necessity of struggle, of courage to make life meaningful. Her female cohorts graze and roam together, individuals breaking away from the pack to taste the freedom of individual action before scurrying back to hide behind the chiffon shifts of their sisters. One by one, they offer themselves to the marauding males, avoiding the shame of non-selection by de-selecting themselves and cowering in the herd, as most of us do, most of the time.


But one is, at last, chosen, brutally, and put to the test, dancing herself into a frenzy of violence until we gasp at her sacrifice.


In this secular rite, Pina Bausch shows us what Dylan Thomas described as “the force that through the green fuse drives the flower.” She shows us that to live is to throb with desire, dumb and unknowing. And yet, powerless though we are over these elemental forces that sometimes shape us (but more often knock us out of shape), we are not helpless. In the humility of her dancers’ demeanour as they take their curtain call, and in the wry detachment of her own smile, she also shows us that to live is to answer Nature’s demand to be heard and seen. To be fully human is to demand our place and time, just as every living thing competes for its moment of expression. Pina Bausch makes of this imperative a sacrament.

Monday 17 August 2009

The Conference of the Birds

I've just re-read, after a twenty-eight year gap, John Heilpern's account of the theatre legend Peter Brook's journey into Africa with a troupe of actors, including the twenty-six year old Helen Mirren, in search of a universal language of theatre.

It's a great read, as fresh today as when it was written in the late seventies and an inspiration for anyone seeking to uncover themselves and their place in the world. It's full of hard work, and exhaustion, and frustration, and faith, too. And joy.

Heilpern ends one of many chapters of struggle with this quote from one of Gurdjieff's pupils:

I am dead because I lack desire;
I lack desire because I think I possess;
I think I possess because I do not try to give.
In trying to give, you see that you have nothing;
Seeing you have nothing, you try to give of yourself;
Trying to give of yourself, you see that you are nothing;
Seeing that you are nothing, you desire to become;
In desiring to become, you begin to live.

Rene Daumal, from Mount Analogue

Friday 1 May 2009

Anthony runs a Marathon

Greenwich: runners self-embrocating on the grass; comedy queues for the loos; skips filling up with empty water bottles, vaseline pots and tatty fleeces;

The Start: cheers as the Rhinos and Camels saunter by; grunts for the backpack squaddies; waves at the overhead choppers; Geordie DJs making Geordie 'jokes';

We're off - relaxed through Charlton and Woolwich; pub crooners schmaltzing us in the early morning sun; nods and winks from saucy housewives; sovereign rings clutching lagers;

Balcony parties; Oggy! Oggy! Oggy!; desperate loo break at 4 miles (nerves or water-overload?) then a belt to catch up my mate Nick and the 11 mile Pacer.

Greenwich on my lonesome; first sign of the TV jibs; have I blown it by pushing too soon?

Catch them up in Deptford then into the groove; water bottles skitter to the kerb; we follow Pacer Mike through the showers;

Mile arches come and go; 10 and 15k timing mats; school choirs and Morris Dancers;

Tower Bridge! conquering heroes at 12 miles! Nearly half way and across the river into the Big Time!

13, 14 miles, (Mum screams out, shocking me silly) then into the Isle of Dogs: streets narrow; oranges and chocolate on offer; pipe bands and piped Spandau Ballet;

The Pacer pulls away and we pull back; carbo gels every 5 miles now and water every mile - skitter, splash.

No sign of my son at Mudchute, but maybe Canary Wharf?

No, oh well( the bugger) - 18, 19 - uncharted territory - the last 7.

Crowds huge now. The Monument glistens gold against blue; big toe blister inflates like water balloon.

Nick eases off a gnat's; should I stay or should I go?

Tower Bridge; stick to Pacer Mike and into the Blackfriars Underpass; refugees stretching out on both sides;

Then up and out of the dark into the lap of honour -

Waterloo Bridge, The Eye, the City at our feet, sunglasses off to make eye contact (great tip, Pacer Mike)

Embankment over all too soon, then Birdcage Walk; friendly faces at last;

Secret smile with 600 metres to go -

Round the corner and the Pearly Gates; over the line with Pacer Mike - 4:48:46. Exactly 11.00 mins/mile.

The batteries pop out the back and it's caliper legs for the rest of the day.

Tuesday 17 March 2009

The Hastings Half (lung)

My lungs don't work.

My GP told me this morning that I should be pushing the flimsy little plastic tab in the peak flow meter up past the 600 mark. I can barely scrape past 200.

This performance, six weeks away from the London Marathon, is as the euphemism has it, challenging.

So tomorrow, at considerable expense, I'm off to Harley Street to see a specialist, who will, for the money, not only reflate my lungs with mountain fresh air, but will also excise my midriff (less of a muffin top and more of a pain de campagne), and straighten my teeth. Oh, and throw in a cleansing colonic, I'm sure.

I make light of this, of course, but I'm not happy. This marathon has provided a spine for my flabby thinking over the past few months, guiding me through the dark days of winter and surprising me with unimagined achievements. So for it to come to this... Grr.

Still, I've got my first medal; or rather horse brass, courtesy of the Hastings Lions for completing their 25th Anniversary Half-Marathon on Sunday. The sun shone, the people of Hastings banged pots and blew bagpipes, and more than one church seized the opportunity of 5000 captive punters and sang folk/rock/gospel music to us from the side of the road. (I declare an interest as a former guitarist of St Gertrude's Folk Choir - we rocked.)

They have a road that leads out of St Leonards; on the maps it's called Queensway. I call it another name; an ugly, angry, name. You know, the really bad one. Because it's a six mile hill. Which we had to run up. It just goes on and on, curving into the distance, for so long you think (no, you just wouldn't be running up it) I thought it was just taking the Michael, playing with us, goading us. "Nearly over, nearly over - awwwh, sorry about that, IT'S NOT OVER - AT ALL. HA!"

Not easy for any chubby man in his mid-forties; Calvary for a chubby man in his mid-forties with no lung capacity. But, dear reader, it got done, baby-wheezy step by baby-wheezy step, and we emerged onto the ridge and level ground and the choirs and bands and banging pots and all was well as we barrelled back down into town.

Free Lucozade Sport, medals, a slightly heady sense of satisfaction at crossing the line - we got quite a lot done before lunch on Sunday. Now all we have to do is run that distance, twice.

But we never have to run up that hill ever ever again.

Wednesday 11 March 2009

White Man Wheezing

They like to tell you about the nipple rash and losing your toenails, but marathon veterans never tell you about the boredom, the vertebrae-crunching tedium of slogging your (no, you're not stupid enough) my sorry white ass around the conveniently-placed green spaces of South West London.

I'm six and half weeks away from the Big Day, and want to regale you with stories of Personal Bests and fartlek sessions, but all I can think about, talk about, is my gut. My fat, fat gut. God, I'm fat. I know I'm fat because I caught myself in the reflection of a shop window towards the end of a desperate seven-miler yesterday morning and saw a pathetic, chunky wheeze-monkey, not so much running as perpetually falling forward like some Breughel peasant being prodded in the back by a bored minor demon in an unglamorous cul de sac in the suburbs of Hell.

I wear a Buff, a multi-purpose bandana-type affair, which keeps my bald head warm at the beginning of the run and sucks up the sweat at the end. I also wear sunglasses with yellow lenses, which make my world a lot brighter in the dull mornings, and a yellow cycling jacket which, with the aforementioned bandana, make me look like an clapped out Ali G impersonator. Eric Liddell, I ain't.

And it all started so well. I got a training programme back in November from a mate who does really crazy stuff (ultra marathons, dragging sleds across the Arctic tundra ect) and stuck to it. Thirty minute jogs became forty; Sunday long runs crept up to hour. I began to take a certain fetishitic pleasure in queuing up the iPhone with my motivational playlist (Don't Stop Believin'/Journey, Back to my Roots/Richie Havens) and setting the stopwatch on my Christmas prezzie running watch before heading out into the frosty January mornings.

I ran ten miles without stopping, which felt like an anointing into the Knights Templar of Physical Endeavour. I joined two mates and ran the Putney towpath, like, well, runners do.

Then it all turned to shit. An ankle niggle troubled me enough to see a Sports physio, who took me apart and cautioned against doing any more. Instability in my personal life (not now, but maybe another time) kept me under the duvet and February was all too soon pissed up a wall.
My entries on iMapMyRun.com dwindled; my averages plummeted; I got fat.

A hastily booked week's skiing in Italy (see Instability in Personal Life, above) didn't help, allowing me to justify the three course breakfasts and triple cake teas by the lactic burn in my thighs. Michael Phelps didn't need the calories I was sinking, but hey, I'm on holiday.

By my front door there now rests four bags of quinoa, a bag of lentils and a bag of sunflower seeds. Between them, they weigh twelve pounds. I have six weeks to get twelve pounds off my blobby gut and the twelve-pound Whole Foods display back into the cupboard. Just looking at them wires my jaw.

Tomorrow, I head out for a leisurely six-miler before the Hastings Half-Marathon on Sunday. All I hope is that my lungs open up enough so I can run most of it, rather than walk the first two miles with my shoulders up by my ears wheezing like an old git. Who's stupid, stupid idea was this?